Christmas music vs. muzak
December 2nd, 2006 cultural, musical
I hate Christmas muzak. The time of the celebration of the birth of God incarnate is at hand and the local Q99 radio station is playing the froofy drivel around the clock for an entire month. Hearing it provokes a foul mood within me.
Here’s the difference as I see it: Christmas music is for the celebration of the long-awaited savior of humanity, Emmanuel, God with us, King of Kings and Lord of Lords Halleluja Halleluja, who from his humble arrival in an animal feed trough is here to kick every power of evil back to hell and reign the entire planet in peace, the heavens erupt, corrupt kings shake in their boots, sages make pilgrimage, basically the most significant day of all time.
Christmas muzak, on the other hand, is the persistent reminder chiming through department store speakers to buy buy buy. It is a sappy croon from one lover to another that they will have a blue Christmas without you. It is jingle after jingle from artist after artist whose record label convinced them that they stand an outside chance of making an extra buck during a downturn in their lackluster career if they just release a well-timed Christmas album with all the standards for stressed out mothers to buy on an emotional impulse as they wait in line to buy overhyped video game system of the year for their spoiled kids. Yes, Christmas muzak leads me quickly as a candy cane sugar buzz to a fervent hatred of all that is Christmas that is not Christ.
7 Comments Add your own
1. Jim | December 2nd, 2006 at 12:08 pm
“A fervent hatred of all things Christmas that is not Christ” Isn’t that a little strong? Human beings will always be human beings, flawed and sinful, and human nature will much of the time be unlikeable. However, we are not suppose to “hate” are we? Surely we can find beautiful things at C’mas in the quasi-religious secular trappings without embracing “all things C’mas that are not Christ” However, one more rendition of the 12 days of C’mas and I may go mad!
2. Matt | December 2nd, 2006 at 2:30 pm
Bah humbug, Dave. Jesus listens to Q99.
3. cspew | December 2nd, 2006 at 6:27 pm
haha! Sounds to me like you’re the one stressed out from the thought of all the Christmas shopping you have to do!
I understand the cringing due to overly cheesy songs or to overt commercialism; however, my take is that it’s great that Christmas is such a big holiday. What is a holiday if it isn’t celebration? Shouldn’t lovers croon about each other on the radio in addition to singing about baby Jesus? ” I want to be with you, baby, because it’s the most wonderful time of the year, because it’s the biggest celebration because Jesus was born.” If that’s not religious enough, then change the first line to: “God wants us to be together, baby, because…”! Think of the musak as adding to the _celebration_ of the birth of Christ.
Now, I wonder how annoyed you would be with me if you knew that my favorite Christmas album is the Southpark Christmas album? Cartman’s rendition of “Oh Holy Night” is the best… seriously. And I believe Mr. Garison takes a particularly conservative stance about singing Christmas music not just in the USA, but all over the world!
Merry Christmas, man!
4. ddubb | December 2nd, 2006 at 7:49 pm
I guess there’s truth to bad press being better than no press. I do agree that it’s at least better to get a tiny baby into the drivel than to throw it out with the bathwater.
About not being supposed to hate: I think I’m 100% Biblical in my diminished acclaim of the entire life work of the Beatles solely due to their song “Simply Having a Wonderful Christmas Time”. I’d rather do an eggnog keg stand than listen to just the introduction of that song. I do hate it.
About Cartman, 12 days iterations, and other silliness: these things are very funny for the first two or three or twelve times you hear them but year after year, multiple times a day during the month of December and Grandma getting run over by a reindeer just loses the deep spiritual power that it once had in my life.
Actually my favorite album is quickly becoming the Bare Naked Ladies Christmas album replete with lines like “Jingle bells, Batman smells, Robin laid an egg.”
I’m just afraid my offspring are going to know more about the epic of Rudolph than the other rejected no-name who came out of nowhere to save the day.
5. Tim | December 7th, 2006 at 7:21 pm
I don’t know that it’s entirely accurate to say that all Christmas music that isn’t about Christ was recorded by, “artist after artist whose record label convinced them that they stand an outside chance of making an extra buck during a downturn in their lackluster career if they just release a well-timed Christmas album with all the standards.” Most of the artists who made those songs into standards (Frank Sinatra, Ella Fitzgerald, Andy Williams, etc.) recorded their Christmas albums at the peak of their careers.
Also, “Wonderful Christmastime” wasn’t by The Beatles as a whole, it was a solo song by Paul McCartney from the late 70s, almost ten years after The Beatles disbanded.
I don’t know…I’ve always seen the more secular-oriented Christmas music as something that kind of adds to the general mood of peace, happiness, and goodwill of the Christmas season, that in the long run helps me to focus on God during this time of year. I definitely think that Christ should always be the focus of celebrating Christmas, but I don’t see that it’s wrong or dishonoring to God to let that celebration be enhanced by other, more generic, expressions of joy.
Of course, Christmas music was one of the things that helped motivate me to consider Christ when I was in high school, and reading about how Muzak systems work was one of the things that caused me to become interested in audio at about that same age, so I guess I kind of have a double bias going on when it comes to the subject of Christmas muzak! I couldn’t resist throwing in my two cents worth, though.
6. dave | December 7th, 2006 at 7:53 pm
Thanks everyone. I like making obnoxious statements and seeing how people reply! I’ve actually faced my revulsion (in the same way I take a deep breath before changing dirty diapers) and listened to a few hours of Q99 yesterday. It wasn’t totally unbearable. There were a few standouts in the mix like “Mary Did You Know” and “Handel’s Messiah” that evoked a spiritual response in my soul. I’m rarely on the side of Christian music as a whole but there’s something so sacred about this particular event, that I’m strangely defensive about it.
7. Ariel Ray | March 6th, 2007 at 12:32 am
You write beautifully. The tone of your writing is hilarious and superb.
Leave a Comment
Some HTML allowed:
<a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>
Trackback this post | Subscribe to the comments via RSS Feed